Getting Along

I have always been one of those people, that tries hard to get along with everyone and wants to be liked by everyone.  I was the kid that interacted with “all” the groups in school, stuck up for the kid that was getting picked on and seemed to be everyones best friend.  All these years later I continue to find myself holding that position and while it is one I will always value I have come to realize that there are times it can bring challenges and divorce is no exception.

With that being said and three divorces later, I am a huge advocate for people trying to find a way to get along following the chaos divorce can bring.  This is easier said than done but the gifts it can bring to everyone involved is priceless and most importantly, can bring a much better lifestyle to the kids.  Divorce is hard on everyone and divorce does not just bring an ending to a marriage but can sometimes bring an end to an entire way of life.

There are many people that find themselves divorced, a single parent and stuck in a place of anger, sadness, bitterness and blame for a very long time.  The result?  Continued fighting and disagreements with the ex-spouse, kids in the middle and uncomfortable situations like birthday parties, graduations, weddings, funerals and holidays.   This is a no-win situation for everyone and one that will stand in the way of people moving on with their lives, discovering a sense of peace and opening their hearts to all of the amazing possibilities that lie in front of them including maintaining a friendship with our ex and everyone that was a part of them.

Being a single parent is tough at times and it can be even more challenging when there is a constant battle going on between the divorced couple.  I understand how this happens but at the end of the day I have to ask why?  The marriage is over and regardless of what caused it or whom, there are children involved, bills to pay, chores to do and life to live.  Continued battles cause drama, drain people’s energy, keep people stuck in a place they no longer belong and create huge issues for the children that love both parents.

I was not thrilled with getting a divorce either time and I certainly struggled with the challenges of being a single parent and trying to balance all that came with it but I knew the benefit and importance of getting along. I have seen how much my children appreciate the friendships and not having to pick, choose, defend or be caught in the middle of a battle that always breaks the child’s heart. I have to deal with this first hand, but maybe one day this will all change as well. We shall see.

Divorce is hard but divorce does not have to be the end of the world.  Divorce can bring a better life and new beginnings we never dreamed possible.  If people can find a way to be friends with everyone after divorce it shines a completely different light on what was a difficult event, single parenting does not have to feel so hard and the kids will thank you forever.  It is worth a try!