Peer Pressure

Parents, teachers, and kids talk about peer pressure all the time. They talk about how it has a strong influence on kids, and say that it can be a big problem in the school community. So what can parents do to help their kids resist peer pressure and have a positive influence on the other kids around them? 

Did You Know?

• Students surveyed in Logan County, Ohio, stated that peer pressure was one of the top three factors that influenced high school students to drink alcohol.
• The smoking rate among kids who have three or more friends who smoke is 10 times higher than those who report that none of their friends smoke.
• The ability to resist peer pressure comes from a combination of many factors, including self-esteem, respect for others, and experience. And while you won’t always be there to get your child out of negative situations, you can help prepare her or him to be a positive influence on other kids and to make smart decisions, even in the face of peer pressure. 

Frequent Questions and Concerns about Peer Pressure 

I’m afraid that my child may be pressuring their friends into making bad choices. What can I do?

The first thing to do is talk to your child about it. See if you can find out why they are pressuring their peers into making bad choices. (Many times it’s because children want to fit in with a particular group that makes those choices.) Ask them to think about the effect they having on their friends and the people around them, and offer some suggestions on how to turn negative peer pressure into a positive influence. 

Why is peer pressure such a big deal? Can’t kids just say no?

Some children are better able to say no than others, but most find it very difficult to make the right decisions when they’re being pressured into the wrong ones. Especially in the tween (ages between 9-14 too young and too old for the opposite sex) and teen years, kids feel a strong desire to fit in with their friends and other social groups. If any of these groups are pressuring them into doing something, it can be very difficult to say no, because it usually means giving up a friendship or social status. It’s important to help your child resist peer pressure, but be sympathetic—it can be really hard to stand up to it. 

I want my child to make good decisions, but I also want them to have friends. How can I help them find a balance between sticking up for themself and keeping his friends?

If your child finds that they often have to stick up for themselves in the face of negative peer pressure, it’s probably a sign that they aren’t hanging out with the right crowd. Having positive relationships with their friends means that they encourage developing strong values and making good decisions. If your child feels pressured much of the time, maybe it’s time for them to start making different choices when it comes to friends. As a parent, you are often better able than your child to judge when they are in a bad situation—so help them make good choices when it comes to the friends they spend time with.

Should my child avoid being friends with anyone who pressures them into making bad decisions?

Although it’s good for your child to avoid spending time with people who put them in negative situations, it’s also important to remember that they can have a positive influence on other children. If their friends are making negative decisions, they have the opportunity to help them start to make better choices and see improvements in their lives. By instilling a sense of self-confidence and positive personal identity in your child, you can help them resist peer pressure and have a positive effect on their peers.